What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 03.07.2025 02:17
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Comes on , in middle age.
Who then, do I blame.?
How was your JEE Mains 2024 April attempt?
Was to survive, this bastard.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Kraken Deal Andre Burakovsky To Chicago - NHL.com
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My life is so biszare .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Are evolutionists giving evolution a bad name by claiming humans started off as shrews?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
In space, no one can hear you scream — But it still gets incredibly noisy - Salon.com
I don,t even have a pension.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
What did i know ?
More King County measles exposures, including at Costco in Issaquah - The Seattle Times
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Turning carbon dioxide into fuel just got easier, thanks to acid bubbles - Tech Xplore
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Especially a lifetime of it.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Pokémon developer Game Freak reveals Beast of Reincarnation at Xbox Games Showcase - Eurogamer
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He knew the spot.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
It was going to be , some day.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She was in good health!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She married twice! .
I waited trembling.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And i lived it daily.
He resisted the act ,that day.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But, we were locked up after school.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I will be 64.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We all went to grammer schools
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I was 9 years of age.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I couldn’t, believe it.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Ive learnt so much.
I think the readers, may guess!
All the time i was locked up.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was scared of men, in general
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I write beautiful poetry .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
She found it foreign!.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Would this be the day?
This is soul school!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
One cannot live in the past .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I was very sick at this time too.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im still living with it.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
As i do to all so called friends.?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
So whats the point in blame.
(And it was in our own minds.)
My family never makes their pension either.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was seconnd youngest,
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She wouldn,t have been !
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But it wasn’t much.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why did i forgive my father ?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I have no regrets .
She loved him until the end.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
So, i spoilt her more .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I said to her
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
When she asked me how she looked .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Put me off passion for life!!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We were not on the streets..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.